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| A father took his young son to church on a Sunday when the service was attended by a large number of people. There were no seats available so they stood in the back. The father hoisted his son onto his shoulders to allow the boy to see over the people. At one particularly quiet point in the service the boy spoke up loudly, "Daddy, I don't like this show! Let's go home!" |
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There were usually three features at the local drive-in theater on Friday night. Sometimes the films were top name titles, but generally they were grade-B stuff, like 'Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore' or 'Last House On The Left.' A woman was calling to find out what was playing. When a man's voice answered the phone, she asked what was showing, expecting three titles. The man said : 'I'm The Plumber.' After a pause, the woman prompted, "And...?" To which the man said, "And.., 'There's Nobody Here Yet.'" There was another pause, and again the woman prompted, "And...?" Finally, in an exasperated tone, the man said, "Look lady, you're gonna have to call back later. I'm just fixing a sink. THERE'S NOBODY HERE, YET!" |
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A schoolteacher had been at the library doing some research for a lesson. When she finished, she gathered up her belongings and headed for the door. Suddenly, she remembered the umbrella she had brought along. She looked all around to no avail; the umbrella had disappeared. She finally went to the librarian, hoping that someone had found it and turned it in at the desk. "Did anyone happen to see my umbrella?" she inquired. "Why, how many umbrellas do you have?" asked the librarian. Quizzically she replied, "Just the one." The librarian smiled and pointed, "There it is hanging on your arm!" |
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On a trip to the Philippines, my wife and I were relaxing in the pool at the residence where we were staying. The family's dog, a pomeranian type, was basking on the ledge near the pool, occasionally eyeing me suspiciously. He watched all our actions with obvious disapproval. We called him 'The Pool Inspector.'
I made a shove-off maneuver that sent a small wave lapping over the pool edge. A trickle of water ran down toward the dog, forcing him to stand up to avoid getting wet. Then, in the most amazing display of canine intelligence I have ever witnessed, he glared at me for a few seconds, walked over to the rear door of the house - about 20 feet away - and attacked my pool slippers! There were several pairs of slippers at the door, but he specifically targeted mine, picking one up and shaking it violently. It was as if to say, "Quit splashing around, or next time this is what I'm going to do to you!" He then returned to his spot by the pool and stood glaring at me, probably all the angrier at us for laughing at the spectacle.
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